The climb

It really is all about the climb.

The destination is the dangling carotte, the icing on the cake, the trendy accessory.

It’s rather nice to have, but it’s not the glue holding everything together. 

It’s taken me many decades to figure this out.

In recent weeks I have attended two 30-year high school reunions. One for the school where I began my adolescent journey and another for the school where I graduated from after finishing my last 2 years.

30 years…let that sink in! 

Some days I don’t even feel old enough to be 30, let alone to have graduated from high school that many years ago!

But other times…

Those 30 years of blood, sweat and tears.

Those three decades of climbing, soaring and face planting. 

Those 360 months of living, laughing and losing.

They all come together and I feel very old. Old in a good way. I feel wise.

This is one of those times. 

Reconnecting with so many people from my far-off past, brought back a flood of memories. I remember not only the people and places (ok, maybe not everyone… 30 years is a long time!), but the intense feelings also came rushing back. However, contrary to my teenage self, I didn’t feel overwhelmed by those feelings. They were not huge waves that were crashing down on me causing me to lose my balance. These were waves I was able to catch, roll on and enjoy the ride.

 What changed?

My interactions are no longer guarded and filled with apprehension. I am a confident adult. One that is more aware (and accepting) of my worth and merit, as well as my shortcomings. I am not perfect, but neither is anyone else. I can now see things through my adult lens and no longer wear the warped peer-tinted glasses that clouded my adolescent perspective. 

I can now focus on things I have in common with my peers, instead of obsessing about everything that separates us. I am comfortable enough in my own skin to be able to share with another without the worry of being judged or shunned. This is so freeing and allowed me to connect with some amazing people from my past!

It also reinforced that we are not alone in our adolescent struggles – just as we are not alone in the ups and downs of adult life. We all go through some tough times. No one is immune to teenage woes: the kids living in the mansions, the pretty girls, the class clowns, the sports heroes, the kids from the wrong side of the tracks, the kids on the dean’s list…everyone is just doing their best. I think in adolescence, we just become so focussed on our own problems and insecurities, that we become blind to the fact that so many around us are struggling as well. 

Sharing and being open in our interactions with others – allowing ourselves to be vulnerable – lets us to connect on a much deeper level. It levels the playing field. 

I feel lucky that my climb has allowed me to get into that zone. 

During so many conversations with those from my past at the reunion evenings and in the days that followed – I thought to myself:  WOW, why didn’t we hang out more? Why have we never had this conversation? Why am I only realising now, how much we have in common?

I am so happy I went to those reunions. Connecting with so many wonderful people was uplifting and eye-opening. I feel grateful for those candid conversations, as well as my friendships that have spanned decades. Simply put: they have made me a better person today.

The process gives the perspective…and the perspective is priceless.

Onward and upward folks: enjoy the climb.